Whod you bang
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He passed out mid-signature
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize