I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
