is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
