Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
