It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
