How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
