For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
