Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
