Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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