um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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