I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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