I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
