he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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