You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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