is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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