I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
