But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
