how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Someone came in the potted fern
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
