I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
