How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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