she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
