i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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