I am puke
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
