That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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