That's intense
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize