May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
