a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
