If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
