like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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