Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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