I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
