Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
even my farts smell like vagina
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We are all done wearing pants today
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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