his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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