Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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