Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
