I'll bet she douches with gravy.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
