There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
