i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
