You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
