Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize