We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
this is an emotional support booty call
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
