i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
