I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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