i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
