I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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