you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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