He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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