You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize