I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
