Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
