just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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