how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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