Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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