Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
