I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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