Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
