Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I enjoy the company of your penis
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
