Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
