Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize