i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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